About me:

At the moment that I'm typing this, there's about 7,608,472,275 other people in the world; What can I say that will make me stand out? Probably nothing. Every word I've ever said has probably been said a million times over. I don't sit here and try to prove points, or make the world a better place; All I can do is be honest with others and myself, and say what I think. I don't really know if people on Myspace have the ability to read an About Me section that isn't posted in a nice, user-friendly bulletined list that was probably stolen from the coolest scene kid around, surrounded by hundreds of obnoxious glittery animations, but I've never let that hold me back before. Go ahead and read if you're interested

I love and trust less than a handful of people in the world, and I'd pick those people over the swarms of people that like to pretend they're my BFF any day. I believe that the more people you let close to you, the more people that can rip your heart out. Honestly, I'm really hard to get close to, and the fight isn't worth it. Lately it feels like everyone around me just wants something from me, but I have nothing emotionally to give. I'm rapidly losing faith in people. Everyone seems so pretentious, thinking they're so cool by acting like the person next to them. No one seems to have independent thoughts or opinions or minds of their own. No one bothers being creative when they can just sponge the creativity from someone else. People seem to TALK a lot but never really SAY anything. They seem to think that thinking about doing something and pretending to do something is just as effective as ACTUALLY DOING something. It's hard to even agree with the statement "everyone's different" anymore, when I feel like I'm surrounded by clones. People seem to feel ashamed if they think/look/do anything differently than anyone else, so they just change it. Silly kids on Myspace go get snakebites to be like their favorite internet idol, or put their hair in their face so they look exactly like the people they're trying to impress. I can't even tell people on here apart anymore. It makes me sad that somehow their minds have gotton twisted into thinking that makes them individuals, and seem to think that a real fulfilling life is sitting in front of a computer waiting for picture comments. Maybe for them, it is. Who am I to say that their thoughts are wrong, just because I feel differently? There's no fucking rulebook of life. And no one in the world is born and guaranteed happiness. It's something we have to fight for, and just because we're all fighting for the same thing, doesn't mean we all have to be the same. I know that shit isn't always going to go my way, and I'm just going to have to get used to it just like you. But who really cares about real happiness when you can easily buy artificial happiness in the form of drugs and alcohol? I do. I want to be conscious through this whole 'life' thing I'm experiencing.

I don't want to solve world hunger, or create world peace; I just want to smile at least once every day, and be able to say that I've lived a good life before I die. Maybe it makes me selfish, but I don't live for anyone else. The only person I try to impress is me, which is the hardest job I've ever given myself. I don't know if I'll ever succeed, but I'll never give up. I don't sit around and wait for other people to make me happy. All my life, I've done everything for myself. I was never raised by parents, so I was never told that I can ask for help, and I never have. I've known many inspiring people, but I've honestly taught myself everything I know. I always do things the hard way, because it's the only way I know how. I can never allow myself to do ANYTHING half-way; I uncontrollably attempt to achieve perfection at everything I start. I've realized that I learn a lot by trial and error. I learn from every single mistake that I make, which is why I don't regret anything.

Anyway, like I said, I am hard to get close to.. but I'm not all that difficult to get along with. I'm actually pretty laid back, and few things really piss me off. I really can't stand when people generalize people AKA "I love gay people" or "I love asian people" as if they're all the same. I admit that I'm guilty of this in some cases, since I have a habit of insulting all of America in every conversation. I can be really offensive without trying. Also, I can't stand when people define themselves and others by their sexuality, as if it's a HUGE part of them or something. The gender you like is the gender you like, just like the colour of your skin is the colour of your skin. I don't feel the need to introduce myself as a bisexual white girl, or decribe people as "that black boy" or "my gay friend". I also really don't like when people are simple-minded enough to just assume something, when they can easily just ask a question. I find it kind of annoying when I'm frequently having accusations thrown in my face by people I DON'T EVEN KNOW. God. If you want to know something, just ask a simple question, and I will answer it. These are just some of the things that piss me off. I tend to be the queen of grudges, since I'm not a big fan of forgiveness.

don't dislike ANYONE until they give me a reason to. Don't disrespect me, and I won't disrespect you. It's a really simple concept that some people just don't seem to understand. People act like complete idiots, and then wonder why I'm such an asshole to them. Are you THAT unaware of your own obnoxiousness? All I can say is that I do dislike a lot of people, but I don't hate anyone. I don't throw that word around, or the 'love' word. I can probably count every person I love in the world on my fingers and toes with no problems. And I like it that way.

Music is a huge part of my life. It's the only thing that's never let me down. It's always been there to help me through it, and I can always count on it. I know a lot of kids these days throw around that whole "MUSIC IS MY LIFE" phrase, and I know most of them don't really mean it, but I can't really judge since I don't know everyone's story. I DO know that music is one of the most powerful forms of art, and ultimately one of the most truthful things in the world (Well, maybe not most of the shit these days that takes absolutely no talent to create). I know that I'm not the only person it's saved. But music is only PART of my life. Art in general is my life. Creation and destruction; writing, photography, traditional drawing, everything. Breathe it. Anything could be a form of art except for sitting on your ass. Get up and go create something. Go destroy something and make it better. Evolve

Obviously, I write a lot. People are really confused when they figure out that I've failed every class in highschool I ever took, INCLUDING English. I just could never function in school. Writing is the only real way that I can get my thoughts organized enough to think clearly. My mind is racing nonstop, to the point where I almost WISH I was weak enough to take pills to stop it.. I'm not saying that people who take pills are weak; I'm just saying that I've come too far this way, so I'm not going to start altering my mind now. I'm actually scared to death of it. This is all I have.